Cowgirl Boots, Anxious Nights: Transgender Youth and Families Fight Hostile Legislation and Sky-High Suicide Rates

By Rachel Cassandra

Families of transgender youth share how they’re building safe and affirming homes for their children across the U.S. amidst such barriers.

A girl holds the Transgender Pride flag during the pride march held in one of the most important streets of Madrid
MADRID, SPAIN – 2022/07/09: A girl holds the Transgender Pride flag during the pride march held in one of the most important streets of Madrid. Thousands of people participated in the Madrid pride parade. After two years the march returned to normal with its floats that have characterised it years ago. (Photo by Luis Soto/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

It started with a pair of cowgirl boots, pink and blue with floral embroidery. Grandpa B. offered to take his grandchild Marty shopping for boots. At the store, which sells Texas-style western wear, 5-year-old Marty checked out the offerings and decided that the coolest by far was that special pair from the girls’ section. Assigned male at birth, Marty (a pseudonym) had already been experimenting with mixing “boy” and “girl” clothes, a point of tension between the generations in the family. Grandpa B. wasn’t about to buy girly pink boots for the kid he considered his grandson. He said no.

From there, tension grew steadily between Grandpa B. and Marty’s only living parent, whom we’ll call Leslie and who identifies as agender. The family lives in small-town central Texas, and although many of their neighbors identify as conservative, Leslie reports that most have gracefully accepted Marty’s choice of pronouns. One neighbor had assumed Marty used male pronouns but asked Leslie after seeing Marty in a dress. Leslie explained that Marty prefers “they/them.”

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